Lives in my heart
by mrivera85
Summary: Bella loses the only people she lives for right when she is about to get everything she ever wanted. Can she survive? What happens when she trys to move on but the past won't stay in the past? Can she learn to lose the bad memories and keep the good ones?
1. The End

I can't believe in a month I will officially be Mrs. Michael Newton. I have been waiting for this day for 4 years.

I met Mike the summer before we started high school. My best friend, Angi, and I were at the pool for the day. I saw him and his friends walk in. He came over to us and started up a conversation. Turned out we had a lot in common and would be starting the same school in the fall. We became really good friends and started dating soon after. Soon after my 15th birthday became much more involved. Looking back on it now, I wish we would have waited until we were married, but I wouldn't give up Liam for the world. I gave birth to Liam Quil Newton three months after my 16th birthday. I was young, but Mike and I made it work. I told him that I wanted to wait until I was 18 to get married, but that didn't stop him from getting down on one knee the day Liam came into this world. My mom has been very supportive through everything. But then again, I feel like her mother sometimes too.

I was still able to go back to school with a lot of help from Mrs. Newton. I am graduating in a week with honors. I'm planning on going to the University of Arizona in the fall. I wish I could spend more time at home with Liam and Mike, but I know getting a degree pays off better in the long run. And I want to do anything I can for my family.

I was walking out of the dress shop from another fitting appointment when my phone rang.

"Hey honey. I was just thinking about you."  
"Oh, hey babe. I'm running a little late from the office, can you call Jessica and let her know I will be late picking up Liam?" Mike sounded rushed over the phone.  
"Yeah, sure, but you need to start planning better, this is the second time this week you are running late. We're going to have to give Jess a little extra money this week to make up for it." I sighed. I know he has been busy this week, trying to get ahead for the time he is taking off for the wedding. But this is starting to get out of control.  
"I know babe. Last time, I promise. I shouldn't be more than 30 minutes late. Thanks, I love you babe. See you at home." He hung up before I could get another word out.

I called Jess up and let her know. She didn't seem to be upset about it. She told me to tell him to take his time. Liam was coloring. I smiled. My mom's fridge at home is getting full from all the pictures he colors.

I had a couple more places to run to before I could head home. I decided to pick up something so the boys could eat as soon as I got home. I tried to call Mike to let him know I was picking something up but the call went straight to voicemail. Oh well, I thought. He probably left his phone on vibrate. I pull up to my mom's house a few minutes later and notice Mike's car is not in the driveway. Hmm, that's odd. I thought he was bound to beat me home. I tried to call his cell phone again and still no answer. I grabbed the food and went inside. My mom wasn't home yet either, but I usually didn't see her until later in the evening. She is off taking some class. Yoga, painting, glass blowing, can't remember what it is this week. I set the food in the kitchen and head to the bedroom to change. My phone starts ringing. Finally, I think. I look at the screen expecting to see mike's number, but realize I don't recognize it.

"Hello?"  
"Is this Isabella Swan?" A voice I don't recognize answers.  
"Yes, it is. Who is this?"  
"This is St. Nicolas hospital calling. We need you to come down here right away. There was an accident."

At this point I start to panic trying to figure out if it was Mike or my mom. I ask and they say they can't release any more information over the phone and to come in right away. I am shaking but I grab my keys and run out of the door. I get to the hospital in record time and am greeted by a police officer.

"Are you Miss Swan?" The officer answers. I nod my head.  
"What happened, who's hurt?"  
"I'm afraid there was an accident, you're fiancée is critical condition. He has some major injuries."  
"My fiancée? So where is my son? Was he with him? Please, you have to tell me more." Tears are running down my cheek at this point. I am gripping on the officer's shirt for dear life.  
"I'm sorry miss, you son did not make it. He was pronounced dead at the scene."

I don't hear another word before blackness overtakes me.  
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AN: Tell me what you think. I have a small outline for at least 8 chapters so far. Should I continue with this? For those that started to read the other story I posted a while ago, sorry. Life got in the way and I lost where I was going with that. So I hope you enjoy this one. Comments, questions, suggestions are very much welcomed and appreciated.


	2. Nightmare before the start

""Here you go Mr. Banner. Biscuits and gravy, just like you like them." I set down the plate in front of the aging man.  
"Thank you Bella. You know just what this old man likes." He smiled and dug in. I walked back behind the bar and refilled Jake's coffee.  
"Bella, when are you going to get out of the diner and do something with your life?" Jake said through bites of strawberry waffles. I shook my head.  
"Jake, we've talked about this. I have responsibilities here that I can't leave. Charlie's here, I have the diner. I can't leave Jake." I sighed.  
"Bells, you know that Charlie will survive without you. He did it for 18 years before you came here. And as far as the diner goes, there are numerous young girls that can easily fill your position. You have so much more potential. You were meant for bigger things that taking care of your old man and waiting tables for the rest of your life. What happened to the dreams of college and degrees that I've heard you talk about?" I glared at him for even bringing up that topic.  
"Oh, crap Bells, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. But seriously, you need to do something else besides wasting away here." Jake had stopped eating and was staring at me with a look of determination. "You know Nessie and I would do anything for you, but you need to do something for yourself too."  
"I'll think about it Jake, but I'm not making any promises. Things are good here. I wouldn't want to do anything to mess that up."  
"But you just said it, 'things are good.' You should want more than just good out of life, you deserve great at the very least."

I thanked Jake and made him promise to bring Nessie next time he was in town. He left shortly after. I was thinking about what he said later that evening while making dinner for Charlie. I moved here almost 4 years ago, right after the accident. I needed a change and I wasn't going to get it with constant reminders all around me. I tried to make it work with Mike once he got out of the hospital, but there was nothing I could do to stop myself from seeing Liam in his face. I couldn't forgive him for taking away my little boy. He was being stupid and reckless. I fell into a hard depression and couldn't pull myself out of it.

I finished high school like planned, but after a month I couldn't take it. I exiled myself to Forks, Washington to live with my father, Charlie. Needless to say, he was happy to have me back in his life, but wished for better circumstances. We fell into an easy routine. We were alike in many ways. Very quiet, reserved, and kept our emotions to ourselves. He did talk me into seeing a therapist after suffering through my constant nightmares for a month. I was reluctant to go but decided to concede for Charlie. They helped enough to stop waking Charlie at night, but everything else I kept bottled up. I got the job at the dinner to help out financially and we've been good since.

I met Jake through Charlie. Jake's dad, Billy, and he were best friends. After hanging out so much at their house, Jake and I became best friends as well. He was like the brother I never had. He talked to me and made me talk to him. It was painful, but it felt good to get it off my chest. He and his fiancée, Nessie, and gotten me through the past few years unharmed. I don't know what I would do without them.

I was still thinking about Liam as I got ready for bed that night. He would have been starting 1st grade this coming school year. I feel asleep with tears in my eyes.

I looked in the backseat to see Liam smiling at me holding his cars out. "Look, mama, blue ones."  
"Yes, honey, blue is your favorite isn't it?" I asked him as he zoomed the cars around in his car seat. He nodded his head. I turned around in the car trying to figure out how I got here and where we were going. I see Mike in the driver's seat. I look out at the landscape and see buildings flying by.  
"Mike, where are we going?" I ask.  
"You're not going anywhere. You are going to stay stuck right where you are. Never make anything out of yourself. You don't deserve Liam in the first place." I gasp at his words. He has never talked to me like that before. I start to say something back when I notice the red light.  
"Mike, the light…." I scream out just as I see the car coming from my right.

"Mommy, mommy, where are you? I want my mommy…." I hear crying as I come to from the blackness.  
"I'm right here babying. I'm right here Liam. Mommy is coming. Mommy is going to make everything alright. I love you baby. I will always love you." I am sobbing at this point as I reach blindly around in the darkness looking for my son.  
"Mommy….I need you…." I shoot up from bed. Sweat all over my body and tears in my eyes. I look at the nightstand and see it is only 3 o'clock in the morning. I pause for only a fraction of a second before grabbing my phone and dialing the familiar number.

"Bells? What are you doing calling this late? What's wrong? What happened?" A groggy Jake answered the phone.  
"I'm sorry to call you so late Jake. I'm taking your advice. I'm going back to school." I answer in a whisper.  
"Well, that's great Bella. But why the late night call? Couldn't this have waited until the morning?" He answers with confusion in his voice.  
"Sorry again Jake. I needed to hear your voice. It always soothes me. I just had a horrendous nightmare. I knew I would never get back to sleep. I'll let you go."  
"Don't worry about it Bells. I understand. Look, I'm happy for you. You will do great for yourself. We love you hun. Try to get some sleep and call me in the morning and explain this again. You know I'll never remember."

I bid him good night before getting out of bed and switching on my laptop. I knew I would never get any sleep after that dream. I bring up the internet and start researching schools. I will make something of myself. I needed to prove to everyone that I was someone that would make my son proud.  
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AN: Well, here's the second chapter. Please leave your comments and let me know if this is worth continuing.


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